wabi-sabi-blog.com!

Or if you are lazy, wabisabiblog.com works as well.

OR, if you are especially lazy, you can use buddytherat.com, although in time buddytherat.com will lead to a seperate front page that will lead to all my various blogs/pages.

So, I will let this blog exist on these interwebs for a short time longer, and then delete it.

No, go! You’ll see that yesterday’s mysteriously vacant post is there for your perusal.

Farewell old blog!

More tomorrow as I make a proper post. (I was pretty busy today BELIEVE IT OR NOT, and I didn’t play any video games AT ALL because I actually was busy so nyah.)

Admittedly, a whole week without posting is a bit extreme! But, I have been sticking with my regime, for the most part. I’ve been drawing a lot more lately, and allowing myself to get into it and enjoy what I am doing, which is important. I’ve also been expanding my practice routine and trying new things, as well as properly studying anatomy.

I have been thinking about migrating this blog and all of my collective works into one big website, made by me. It would be a great learning process and I would be able to be much more creative and diverse in what I put up. (Art, photography, etc.) So more on that at some point probably..

Oh, I guess it should probably be mentioned..

Today I am 20 years old!

Woohoo! Now I get to prove to myself and to everyone else that I am no longer a dumb irresponsible kid!

That’s all I’ve got to say! Are you people happy now?

Today I met all my goals. (The list helped.) Tomorrow I will do the same, and I will post when I have something to say.

I know, I know, it ain’t exactly what I said I’d do, but I think the spirit of the challenge is still there. I will still post, just not as often. When I do post, I’ll actually have something to say.

Seeya then!

Hey.
post on your blog!!! :P
Stick to your word. :(
I don’t wanna see any more posts apologizing and then you making some bold rationale to keep it up.. just keep it up. when you forget, breifly apologize, then post as you normally would. because the apology posts are kind of a waste when it comes to the purpose of you posting.

-Travis

Well, that’s a… that was.. th..      Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for the well deserved kick in the butt.

Honestly, this post is kind of hard to write. My room is, more or less, still a mess. (Remember my goal for January? .. Yeah.) It is improved, definitely, but it isn’t the total renovation I had planned for. (The drawers I added to the desk? Best thing I ever did this month.) I am making progress, and I am learning about myself. That’s what this blog is for. To learn.

So what DID I learn, exactly? For starters, I’ve learned that I am pretty adept at lying to myself. It’s quotes like the above that help slap me back into reality. Another thing I learned is not to beat myself up too much. Just suck it up, raise my head up high, and march onward. (We’ll thank Matt for that one.) I learned of the power of todo lists! (As of today, I’ve managed to not slack off long enough to actually get some stuff done! Slump finally over?) I learned some important IMPORTANT lessons about money spending. (God, did I learn some lessons.) I learned so much more that I could list here, but I still have far to go. (So very far.) The year is 1/12th over, and the future awaits with open arms.

Tomorrow I will think long and hard for February’s goals. Today, well, today I posted another apology, followed by promises for the future. Well that future is tomorrow, and you will no longer see me crawl on my knees.

(Sorry.)

So, I’ve decided. My energy is up, I had a refreshing break, I am feeling fairly good about myself lately, and this slump MUST END NOW, so,  I have an idea to help kick me into gear.

Basically I will make a a todo list, but, more like a full on plan of my day, including break times, and eating. (I need to get myself eating on a regular schedule!)

I will basically make a checklist. This will be my browser’s homepage, so the second I get home the first thing I see will be the list. The list will give me tasks, and I have to check all of them. (which means completing them) After checking all of them I can click on the button at the bottom of the page. If all things were checked, than it will say something along the lines of.. “Success! Now you can do whatever for two hours. Have at it!.”

And then after two hours I proceed through the page onto the next list, etc.

It is kind of like an advanced version of Nowdothis.com. An incredibly simple, yet unfathomably useful little webapp that can aid with productivity.

So, for the rest of my night I am going to setup the page, and then tomorrow I shall commence using it.

I actually stumbled upon a pretty eye-opening piece of knowledge relating to todo lists, and schedules, etc. To all those that can’t be assed to make one, or can’t help but percieve a sort of nerdyness about them, there is more to a todo list than just simply helping you to remember everything you need to do. “I KNOW what I need to do,” you might say, “the problem is just doing it.” Well, sir or madam, a todo list does more than remind you. It takes the weight of remembering off of your shoulders. It makes the doing easier, because you are not constantly weighed down by the burden of all that you have to do.

By putting your tasks in a list, the workload will seem smaller, and you never have to think about what you should be doing, or what to do next. Just focus on the current task.

I guess it’s sounds a little iffy at first, but trust me. Do as I say not as I do!

P.S. I have been cleaning  a little bit each day. Not enough though.. 3 days left and the clock is ticking. It might come down to a frantic Sunday clean fest.. God I hope not. (Though I knew this would happen from day one..) There is hope, though! I gave myself a month to do this for a reason. IT MUST BE DONE, so it will be done. The following month will be a vast improvement from this one as a result. JUST YOU WAIT.

Aren’t you glad I posted, at least?

May I present to you, my project of the past 2 weeks, which I worked very hard on:

The official website for the Oklahoma Go Players Association! My first completed webpage! I am very proud of myself. It is nice to accomplish things every now and then.

On top of creating and designing the site from scratch, I am now the offical OGPA webmaster! Makes me feel important!

When I post, it’s like I have to sit, quietly to myself, and come to terms with the reality of it. At any other time of day, I’ve have reflexes and habits and mental routines that I have constructed to make me forget about it and forgive myself.

When I post, it brushes away the excuses. The facade I’ve made  for myself crumbles into dust, and all that is left is.. what?

To be introspective, for even a little bit each day is, I think, the best thing any person can do for themselves. We view each day through goggles that distort, bend, lie, deceive. To understand the world truly is to learn how these goggles function. Learn the intertwining canals the daily input of life travels through each day to reach your brain.

So I will keep posting. Every day. Even if I don’t feel like it, even on Saturday’s, and even if I have nothing to say. If I am unable post, I will sit quietly by myself, and I will collapse the world around me. I will peer into my thoughts, and learn.

So that’s my excuse. No excuses for today though, and so I post!

I think it is in the best interest of myself to be totally honest with all my readers, so there is one last thing I need to admit. I bought a game.. two games. I am now broke again. (BUT I have a full tank of gas and plenty of food.) I know. I should be SAVING not SPENDING. But that other, irresponsible me got the first move, and before I knew it I had a brand new copy of Mirror’s Edge and a preorder of Skate 2! (Both are excellent!)

I now have 54 cents to my name, two brand new distractions (they already took out a good chunk of today), a veeeery messy room to clean, and lots of work to do at Francis Tuttle.

And now it is really late again so I can’t really post about anything interesting.

I will pull through this slump soon! I swear it.

I didn’t even realise I had not been posting.

I didn’t remember not posting. I thought I had been posting. How did I not realize I hadn’t been posting?!

That was how I felt on Saturday. Of course, before that comment, I had no idea. I even remember thinking to myself “Oh, I don’t have to post today, it is Saturday.” Totally oblivious to my own inaction. Why? WHY?

The stress must have gotten to me. Such a stressful week. More stressful than I am used to. Honestly the whole week seems like a blur to me now. I do remember it being particularly lazy, though. My old habits must have sensed their demise, so in a triumphant last stand they took over my psyche and controlled me for a week, fighting my better judgment in an epic duel of right and wrong.

And I didn’t even feel bad. I knew I was being lazy, but something in me wasn’t quite there. That part of me that makes me feel bad whenever I am being particularly dumb, or when I’ve played a game for a little too long. It wasn’t there last week. The bad habits staged a full on mutiny of my mind and I was unable to control myself. Dishes piled up, things were lost (extremely important things), money overspent.

Yeah, It was a bad week.

So again: I apologize. I will try harder now. I will counter the bad habit resurgence by enforcing my new habits stronger and harder. I am playing a game of Go against myself. My toughest opponent yet. Every move countered, every defense foiled. I know my own weaknesses, but not my strengths. The old me has the advantage here.

But I can learn. I can build on my strengths, realize my true potential and invade, deep within the heart of the enemies territory. I am still young, the game is still fresh, a million possibilities open up before me. My invasion will grow, tear, rend the opposing stones in half, and what was once enemy territory will become mine, and I will win this battle with myself. I will win and prosper.