New location! Change your bookmarks!

Wondering why I didn’t post yesterday? Well, I was moving house! (and I ran into a few technicalities) Now, all is well and I am all set up. The bad news is everyone who has been reading has to update their bookmarks and RSS feeds for the new blog. Where is this new blog you ask?

wabi-sabi-blog.com!

Or if you are lazy, wabisabiblog.com works as well.

OR, if you are especially lazy, you can use buddytherat.com, although in time buddytherat.com will lead to a seperate front page that will lead to all my various blogs/pages.

So, I will let this blog exist on these interwebs for a short time longer, and then delete it.

No, go! You’ll see that yesterday’s mysteriously vacant post is there for your perusal.

Farewell old blog!

Day 47 – Let’s try this again

You guys are great, really. Every comment prodding me in the right direction has been a great help. I haven’t posted in awhile, and this nonsense must stop! Do you see what happens now? The second I give myself an excuse, I run with it. Run with it and hide, basking in its warm embrace.  Quality over quantity definitely does not mean “not posting ever”, so let’s try this again. There have been a lot of interesting developments lately. I’ve finally got some actual goals to work on this month and I am trying new things to help enforce my habits and as of late feeling a lot better about myself in general, so expect good things to happen in the future!

More tomorrow as I make a proper post. (I was pretty busy today BELIEVE IT OR NOT, and I didn’t play any video games AT ALL because I actually was busy so nyah.)

Day 39

Okay! I give in. I will post something. No idea what to put down though. I have been real short of ideas for the blog, thus the not posting. But maybe that is because I have no impetus to force myself to keep it up.

Admittedly, a whole week without posting is a bit extreme! But, I have been sticking with my regime, for the most part. I’ve been drawing a lot more lately, and allowing myself to get into it and enjoy what I am doing, which is important. I’ve also been expanding my practice routine and trying new things, as well as properly studying anatomy.

I have been thinking about migrating this blog and all of my collective works into one big website, made by me. It would be a great learning process and I would be able to be much more creative and diverse in what I put up. (Art, photography, etc.) So more on that at some point probably..

Oh, I guess it should probably be mentioned..

Today I am 20 years old!

Woohoo! Now I get to prove to myself and to everyone else that I am no longer a dumb irresponsible kid!

That’s all I’ve got to say! Are you people happy now?

Day 32

I’m starting to believe that, for this blog, quality is better than quantity.

Today I met all my goals. (The list helped.) Tomorrow I will do the same, and I will post when I have something to say.

I know, I know, it ain’t exactly what I said I’d do, but I think the spirit of the challenge is still there. I will still post, just not as often. When I do post, I’ll actually have something to say.

Seeya then!

Day 31 – Advice

Hey.
post on your blog!!! :P
Stick to your word. :(
I don’t wanna see any more posts apologizing and then you making some bold rationale to keep it up.. just keep it up. when you forget, breifly apologize, then post as you normally would. because the apology posts are kind of a waste when it comes to the purpose of you posting.

-Travis

Well, that’s a… that was.. th..      Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for the well deserved kick in the butt.

Honestly, this post is kind of hard to write. My room is, more or less, still a mess. (Remember my goal for January? .. Yeah.) It is improved, definitely, but it isn’t the total renovation I had planned for. (The drawers I added to the desk? Best thing I ever did this month.) I am making progress, and I am learning about myself. That’s what this blog is for. To learn.

So what DID I learn, exactly? For starters, I’ve learned that I am pretty adept at lying to myself. It’s quotes like the above that help slap me back into reality. Another thing I learned is not to beat myself up too much. Just suck it up, raise my head up high, and march onward. (We’ll thank Matt for that one.) I learned of the power of todo lists! (As of today, I’ve managed to not slack off long enough to actually get some stuff done! Slump finally over?) I learned some important IMPORTANT lessons about money spending. (God, did I learn some lessons.) I learned so much more that I could list here, but I still have far to go. (So very far.) The year is 1/12th over, and the future awaits with open arms.

Tomorrow I will think long and hard for February’s goals. Today, well, today I posted another apology, followed by promises for the future. Well that future is tomorrow, and you will no longer see me crawl on my knees.

(Sorry.)

Day 28 – This slump must end!

The past two days I have not had to work or go to Francis Tuttle due to an ice storm out of nowhere! Now, you’d think that I would take all this extra time and turn it into actual productivity! But no, I have done mostly a lot of nothing. (I didn’t even post yesterday! Sorry about that.. )

So, I’ve decided. My energy is up, I had a refreshing break, I am feeling fairly good about myself lately, and this slump MUST END NOW, so,  I have an idea to help kick me into gear.

Basically I will make a a todo list, but, more like a full on plan of my day, including break times, and eating. (I need to get myself eating on a regular schedule!)

I will basically make a checklist. This will be my browser’s homepage, so the second I get home the first thing I see will be the list. The list will give me tasks, and I have to check all of them. (which means completing them) After checking all of them I can click on the button at the bottom of the page. If all things were checked, than it will say something along the lines of.. “Success! Now you can do whatever for two hours. Have at it!.”

And then after two hours I proceed through the page onto the next list, etc.

It is kind of like an advanced version of Nowdothis.com. An incredibly simple, yet unfathomably useful little webapp that can aid with productivity.

So, for the rest of my night I am going to setup the page, and then tomorrow I shall commence using it.

I actually stumbled upon a pretty eye-opening piece of knowledge relating to todo lists, and schedules, etc. To all those that can’t be assed to make one, or can’t help but percieve a sort of nerdyness about them, there is more to a todo list than just simply helping you to remember everything you need to do. “I KNOW what I need to do,” you might say, “the problem is just doing it.” Well, sir or madam, a todo list does more than remind you. It takes the weight of remembering off of your shoulders. It makes the doing easier, because you are not constantly weighed down by the burden of all that you have to do.

By putting your tasks in a list, the workload will seem smaller, and you never have to think about what you should be doing, or what to do next. Just focus on the current task.

I guess it’s sounds a little iffy at first, but trust me. Do as I say not as I do!

P.S. I have been cleaning  a little bit each day. Not enough though.. 3 days left and the clock is ticking. It might come down to a frantic Sunday clean fest.. God I hope not. (Though I knew this would happen from day one..) There is hope, though! I gave myself a month to do this for a reason. IT MUST BE DONE, so it will be done. The following month will be a vast improvement from this one as a result. JUST YOU WAIT.

Aren’t you glad I posted, at least?

Day 26 – So I haven’t been entirely useless.

Okay, so I haven’t posted all weekend. I know this. I do feel bad about it, but, it was time well-spent, regardless. I am not always useless, mind you!

May I present to you, my project of the past 2 weeks, which I worked very hard on:

The official website for the Oklahoma Go Players Association! My first completed webpage! I am very proud of myself. It is nice to accomplish things every now and then.

On top of creating and designing the site from scratch, I am now the offical OGPA webmaster! Makes me feel important!

Day 23 – Tick Tock

I’ve realised something. When I force myself to post, even when I don’t have anything to say, it seems to help me keep track of myself. It helps me to know, and I mean really know, when I am falling behind. I mean the feeling is always there. A nagging little burn in the back of my head that tells me to feel bad about myself. But that’s all it is. A little buzz.

When I post, it’s like I have to sit, quietly to myself, and come to terms with the reality of it. At any other time of day, I’ve have reflexes and habits and mental routines that I have constructed to make me forget about it and forgive myself.

When I post, it brushes away the excuses. The facade I’ve made  for myself crumbles into dust, and all that is left is.. what?

To be introspective, for even a little bit each day is, I think, the best thing any person can do for themselves. We view each day through goggles that distort, bend, lie, deceive. To understand the world truly is to learn how these goggles function. Learn the intertwining canals the daily input of life travels through each day to reach your brain.

So I will keep posting. Every day. Even if I don’t feel like it, even on Saturday’s, and even if I have nothing to say. If I am unable post, I will sit quietly by myself, and I will collapse the world around me. I will peer into my thoughts, and learn.

Day 22

I WAS going to post yesterday, really, but I didn’t get back from the Go meeting until 11 PM, and by that time I was too tired to do anything else. But even then, I was going to post about how I wouldn’ t post anything very wordy due to aformentioned tiredness, BUT someone was downloading, and the internet was much too slow, and I collapsed into bed and passed out.

So that’s my excuse. No excuses for today though, and so I post!

I think it is in the best interest of myself to be totally honest with all my readers, so there is one last thing I need to admit. I bought a game.. two games. I am now broke again. (BUT I have a full tank of gas and plenty of food.) I know. I should be SAVING not SPENDING. But that other, irresponsible me got the first move, and before I knew it I had a brand new copy of Mirror’s Edge and a preorder of Skate 2! (Both are excellent!)

I now have 54 cents to my name, two brand new distractions (they already took out a good chunk of today), a veeeery messy room to clean, and lots of work to do at Francis Tuttle.

And now it is really late again so I can’t really post about anything interesting.

I will pull through this slump soon! I swear it.

Day 20 – Sorry.

I am sorry. I am soo sorry. I don’t know what happened, honestly. It was Saturday, and I had just looked at a new comment on my blog, and it was my mom wondering why I hadn’t posted for the last four days.

I didn’t even realise I had not been posting.

I didn’t remember not posting. I thought I had been posting. How did I not realize I hadn’t been posting?!

That was how I felt on Saturday. Of course, before that comment, I had no idea. I even remember thinking to myself “Oh, I don’t have to post today, it is Saturday.” Totally oblivious to my own inaction. Why? WHY?

The stress must have gotten to me. Such a stressful week. More stressful than I am used to. Honestly the whole week seems like a blur to me now. I do remember it being particularly lazy, though. My old habits must have sensed their demise, so in a triumphant last stand they took over my psyche and controlled me for a week, fighting my better judgment in an epic duel of right and wrong.

And I didn’t even feel bad. I knew I was being lazy, but something in me wasn’t quite there. That part of me that makes me feel bad whenever I am being particularly dumb, or when I’ve played a game for a little too long. It wasn’t there last week. The bad habits staged a full on mutiny of my mind and I was unable to control myself. Dishes piled up, things were lost (extremely important things), money overspent.

Yeah, It was a bad week.

So again: I apologize. I will try harder now. I will counter the bad habit resurgence by enforcing my new habits stronger and harder. I am playing a game of Go against myself. My toughest opponent yet. Every move countered, every defense foiled. I know my own weaknesses, but not my strengths. The old me has the advantage here.

But I can learn. I can build on my strengths, realize my true potential and invade, deep within the heart of the enemies territory. I am still young, the game is still fresh, a million possibilities open up before me. My invasion will grow, tear, rend the opposing stones in half, and what was once enemy territory will become mine, and I will win this battle with myself. I will win and prosper.

Day 14 – Money

I suck with money. Plain and simple. I won’t get into details but more or less the past week I have screwed myself over. Until Monday I can’t afford food or gas, and I had to start using my Grandmother’s car to make it through the week.

And that was BEFORE I got hit by 3 insufficient funds fees. (35 x 3 = 105 dollars.)

So right now I feel like a pretty huge douchebag. I am not really upset, because this was my own dumb fault, and It is about time I fixed this problem of mine.

For as long as I can manage it, I will have a personal budget of 50 dollars! This includes fast food, groceries that I don’t need or are needlessly expensive (tv dinners, snacks, soda), video games, etc.

I do not need money to be happy. I know I am capable of saving and living simply, cheaply, and efficiently. If anything, this move will make me more happy than I already am. I can focus more on the important things.

Sorry for slapping up this garbled post in a big rush. Go Meeting tends to cut my time short, and it is bedtime!

(EDIT: Woah so apparently I clicked the “save draft” button instead of the “publish” button. That is why this post is a day late. Sorry!)

Day 13 – The first slump.

So soon (as in, immediately) after my burst of energy and resolve and I’ve hit my first real wasted day. Today I did mostly nothing. I did manage to play Go (And win! Mostly. 50/50. 1 game out of two.. ) and my work at Francis Tuttle is progressing nicely. I did not draw though, unfortunately, and honestly, I can’t think of what to post about.

So! In the spirit of wasted time and lazy days, I will post this little time waster:

Time 4 Cat

I love this little game! The gameplay is highly original, and the unique graphic style supports this. The sound is well designed and immersive, with a charming soundtrack and that picks up and becomes more busy as the game heats up. The game uses an interesting mechanic that is unlike most dodging games like this, in that your enemies only move when you do, and slow down or speed up depending on how fast you move your mouse. The game can instantly transition between quick, dodging action as you rack up points into slow, strategic movements as you try to navigate a particularly thick crowd.

In the end all of this ties together into a beautiful little game. All of which’s elements overlap to create a well-planned, well crafted piece of art, made with passion and skill. (Yes I do recommend this game in case you were still wondering.)

That’s my filler for today! Let’s make tomorrow a goal to get out of this mini slump. Bye for now!